Chapters

(Photo Credit: Taken in El Paso, Texas, by Chandra Nunes)

As I sit here, staring at a blank screen and a beige, dirty coloured wall behind it, I can't help but let my mind wander.The beeping of phone lines, the clicking of keyboards, and the shouting voices calling from one room to the next easily fade as I drift into a mere semi-conscious state. The monotony of the day and the tasks that go with it are what carry me to a world I once knew but no longer exists.

Do you remember high school? Because I do. I can almost smell, touch, and taste all the familiar memories. The perfume I once wore, the rough desk chairs, the $1.00 cookies we used to buy in the morning at the cafeteria... it's so real and yet untouchable, like it never existed. I remember the conversations, the concerns, the classes. It was a long time ago that I was fifteen, almost ten years now. The older I grow, the farther away it becomes, as with all things.

I didn't particularly enjoy high school while I was there. There were a lot of tears, fighting, hormonal changes, and stressful homework. I hated math, I had as many enemies as I had friends, and the days seemed long. There was a time when all I thought about were the horrors of my teen years but I'm finding it harder and harder to remember those things.

I remember that I was skinny, despite that I didn't know it then, I had faithful friends, good grades, and a solid outlook on the future. All I wanted was to get out and move onto University. That was my goal and it seemed like it would never happen. I thought I'd be with my high school sweetheart forever, that I'd be married by the time I was twenty-three (to my fifteen year old self, that was ancient), I'd have a successful career ahead of me, and I would be travelling the globe forever a roamer. I had an untainted perspective, no fear, and a fire that burned so deep for love, art, travel, books and God. I was unashamed of anything I believed in, unafraid to speak it loudly to the people around me, and a hopeful eye for improving myself and helping others reach their potential. Of course, that same person still lives within me. The light is dimmer, or perhaps I'm just more refined, learned the ways of the outside world and how to live within it. My whole world was really only my classrooms and the people I spent time with outside of those rooms. It was a very small world.

Since those days I've come through a little bit, I'd say. I've dealt and now managing a hormone disorder, I've graduated high school, I've graduated University, I've floated through different jobs, I've landed myself a full time position, I've sifted through boyfriends, gained experience as a youth minister, I've left youth ministry, I've joined other churches, I've saved more money than I ever thought possible, I've been on an archaeological dig, I've travelled to Europe and back, I've wandered through some of the States, and I've bought and sold a car. I've made friends in a different country, I've said goodbye to old ones, I've lost and gained weight, I've torn ligaments, I've lost a pet, I've gained two more, I've dyed my hair, I've cut my hair, and maybe I've grown a few centimetres too.

Through it all, through thick and thin, I've found people I can count on. I've lived, laughed, and loved with them and as our journey moves forward they remind me why I don't hate high school as much as I thought I did. It's because it was there, in that small building, I cultivated some of the most precious friendships I'll ever have.